This week, I went to a politician’s office for work experience.
The politician and his staff are all great people, fighting for many noble causes, and
I respect the people and their causes immensely.
Although a life of politics was planned out meticulously in my 10-year plan, a shift has occurred. An urgent realisation hit me.
I’ve never felt as drained, lethargic, purposeless, trapped and not myself as I have right now.
It feels like I’m not in the right place, that certain aspects of me are not being utilised and instead, I rot away in an empty box, ensuring stacks of papers are straight when I guillotine them.
It was a great shock to me when a colleague told me that they had to delete their own blog in order to assure their image was untainted and opinions aligned with fellow party members. The heinous act of distorting oneself, ripping away individuality and critical thought to earn respect and a job broke my heart.
Stepping into a field in which discussion, doubt and disagreements are met with despicable disgust would be a sin against the person I am.
A 9-5 is most definitely not the place for me. Time is the most precious resource available to us all, without a doubt. For me, a person who holds such regard for each sacred moment, to be reduced to someone who counts down each minute and unironically says ‘TGIF’ is quite a disgrace. The human spirit was made to be fluid, the creative energy to spark at any moment. Not trapped in the confines of an arbitrary set period of time in which one is chained to a wheely chair.
Don’t get me wrong, I respect those who have the discipline and determination to work concreted hours. I am just not one of those people, and that’s important because the world requires both types of people to function.
A shift has occurred! I have learnt what the ‘real world’ looks like, at least in the conventional terms, and have gained just a little more insight into the grand mystery of who I am. With my detailed career plans crumbling, I am brought back to a clueless 15-year-old with no grasp whatsoever in which direction I’m going to go or which compass I will use. I guess wandering around the fields until I find the perfect picnic spot will have to do.
Hopefully this time,
Instead of forcefully marking a false map on the best possible spots, with the arrogant assumption that I have any idea where I am,
I’ll remember to stop and smell the gorgeous peonies that unbeknownst to me, relentlessly cheer me on.
A shift has occurred.
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