The homo sapien is a pack animal, as pack animal as we can possibly get.
Bhawna tells me of the times she was with her extended family in India, far away from her phone and the closest to complete contentment she’s ever been. To be surrounded by culture, her very own, and to be surrounded by people, her very own. Constant storytelling and rich conversation, different people and different topics, but the single thread that ties it all together; belonging!
I believe we, as an entire species, are severely deficient in belonging. In fact, we run the opposite direction from it. We want to be edgy loners, we want to be different and we certainly don’t want to be vulnerable.
But we forget, we NEED to belong. It is one of the most innate human needs.
So, instead of using our basic physiological needs in a constructive and fruitful way, we shove meaningless plastic in the large gaping hole that once was our human spirit.
This became very real to me when today, just minutes ago, I felt an extreme panic. A riptide of anxiety engulfed me and began to drag me away from the stability of the shore. Instead of trying to reach out to anyone at all I, almost automatically, reclined onto my bed and started scrolling through random people’s stories. I don’t really care much about them and they don’t really care about me but we complete a mutual transaction wherein I boost their egos with my story view whilst trying to numb myself from the intense episode of overwhelming panic. Win-win!
The days of befriending neighbours, walking to your friends’ house or having family close by seem to be long gone. Everything is unsafe and everyone’s focused on the ‘grind’ where majority slave away at something they aren’t passionate about so they can wear an extra shiny ring or make their mode of transport ‘broom broom’ a little louder.
Being a child of an immigrant is difficult, let alone being one. My family is so far and I don’t even know the existence of many of them. I love going to my friends family events because if I can be a part of a family, even if just for 3 hours, I’m completely and utterly ecstatic. It’s all so nonsensical.
It hurts when I try to explain this to someone and they reply with the generic,
“Enjoy your own company!” because I well and truly do.
But when an intrinsic need is not being met, it’s not as so easy to get ‘over it.’ It’s like telling a person who has limited access to water to
“Enjoy the convenience of peeing less!” It most definitely is not constructive criticism. Obviously the water situation is worse, but I believe this analogy has served its’ purpose.
In my humble and confused opinion, it seems as though we're all so determined to prove to the universe that we're advanced and intellects that we truly do forget that we are just animals with unmet needs
I can’t do much in this situation I feel besides remain grateful for all that I do have. But, I’m not completely powerless in this. I pledge that when I have been bestowed the honour of motherhood/auntyhood, I’ll do my best to ensure my children/niece/nephew never ever feel this way.
I'll create the warmth of connection and belonging and shield them with it fiercely.
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