Big Ol' Chemical Reaction

I was doing my chemistry homework the other day.

It was all about electronegativity and ionic lattices and all the other odd chemistry stuff that sparks a consequent odd joy.

And I realised, that this seemingly irrelevant business of electronegativity and ionic lattices,

Are me.

I am undertaking an unconventional type of self-study, my molecules understanding themselves with the aid of consciousness and science.

I watched my cookies bake in the oven, the warm and promising light of it coating the slow and steady expansion of the dough and slight bubbling on its edges.

I was witnessing a divine chemical reaction with the intent of meeting this reaction with my internal chemical reaction.

It took a second for me to catch my breath.

I had stirred, sculpted and placed these little balls of joy on the baking tray with delicate and proud love.

Ahh, love! More accurately, Oxytocin.

Anything good in my life, that sparks joy or causes warm waves of love,

Is just yet another chemical reaction.

I see a beautiful sunset or a clear and starry night and I release Serotonin.

I clean my room or finish an assignment, I reward myself with Dopamine.

I exercise and move my body with hearty intention, and I treat myself with Endorphins.

Everything I am and ever will be, everything I will ever experience and will ever know is just a chemical reaction.

I was a little saddened by this for, to reduce such divinity and complexity to a mathematical cause seems to be an injustice.

To reduce the marvel and chaos of such a grand experience to chemicals interacting with each other seems to make it matter so much less.

No! I am not seeing the bigger picture!

For chemistry is simply the building blocks of life, it is not life itself.

Well, it is life, but not the full and rich experience of life!

The blueprint of our universe are protons, electrons and neutrons, coded by the sacred language of mathematics.

That is magic!

Aren’t we apes just lucky enough to begin to understand it?

Speaking of, I probably should get back to balancing some equations.