From a Ditch to a Cocoon

I found myself in a ditch on Friday afternoon.

It wasn’t because of any irresponsible partying practices, I promise.

I had become so disassociated with reality, with every molecule of my being fatigued with stress and my otherwise electric mind, cloudy with heartbreak.

So my subconscious mind seemed to have, without asking for any permission, taken me to a shallow depression within a grassy knoll,

And laid my exhausted head amongst the thorns.

And there I listened to Kali Uchis’s decadent voice without knowing for sure whether I was

Alive

Or not.

When I awoke from my trance, I realised just how unjust it is that my body had to hold me hostage so that it could find some tranquil moments with her

Mother,

And rest.

That very Friday night, I had realised that it was time to transform this ditch into a

Cocoon.

So as I deep cleaned my room and decorated it with sprays of disinfectant and swirls of incense,

I realised the beauty that is within sweeping. It is an eternal task and one I can never escape. I stop the entropy from collecting on my windowsill and restore order to my bedsheets.

With Mumma Mia’s soundtrack booming in my ears, I cleansed my cocoon.

There and then I deleted social media in its forms

Because it was from that very buzz,

That I needed a break.

On Saturday, I slept!

I awoke with the great craving to restore order to my bathroom.

I scrubbed my sink whilst envisioning the grime was his guilt trips and the old soap sud was his grossly inflated ego.

I washed the dirty bathmats and with them the smothering imprints of his obnoxious feet from every fold of my mind,

Oh my god, it feels good to clean!

And then today, the day of the Sun,

I glued on some lashes and painted on some gloss,

And ventured forth to celebrate my Divine Feminine Energy through the art of

Selfies!

I chose oranges over Oreos and fruit smoothies over shapes

And decided that the frequency on which I exist is

My responsibility.

I’m still in pain. But now I have reminded myself that this too shall pass. As painfully as if I had swallowed a logo perhaps, but pass nonetheless.

And as I sip on my revolting turmeric and grapefruit herbal infusion and scroll through Costar, reading of my astrological forecast,

I smile as I see,

‘You will be moved into a new phase whether you are ready or not. Be ready to let go,’

For it seems this chaos was cosmically planned. And thank heavens for it! This forced metamorphosis was long overdue and as painful and as tired of it all I am,

I take great pride in bandaging my antennas and stitching the tears on my wings,

As I prepare to emerge from my glittery cocoon soon to make the blissful journey

to find and drink

The sweet and sacred nectar of the human experience.