Resentment must be the most useless emotion one could ever experience. It causes long-lasting hurt, hurt even worse than the moment it was experienced because the repercussions now pervade as heavy emotional baggage and a constant reminder of life's’ miseries.
My life is resentment personified at times. The list of all that I carry is longer than this google doc can store so I’ll keep it short and simple. Resentment is a recurring pang of pain, constantly triggered by the simplest of matters. One can be transported quite literally into the exact moment in which their wound was birthed.
I understand that trauma and bad events ‘shape you into the person you are’ but that isn’t always positive. These shaping moments have created a fearful, untrusting and self-doubting person. I try my best to forgive and forget ‘when I’m ready,’ but what no one warns you that resentment hardens with every passing moment, with every fleeting second. The unaddressed pain turns into festering frustration, turning into concrete trauma.
Forgiving and forgetting is folly, advising it is more so. Oh! How I wish it was easy to do so! But alas, nothing worthwhile is, because ease lives in the comfort zone and refuses to step out from its plush and warm embrace. But, it is foolish to not use resentment to your advantage as resentment, when placed in a pleasant light, can be viewed as experience, and experience as wisdom.
In all honesty, nothing I’ve said in this post had much definitive purpose besides me professing my addiction to the decadent, delicious and sweet poison that is resentment. I just cannot stop.
A to the men hun! It is never fun when you force yourself to hold onto bad experiences that just get worse and worse as the hour passes. We should all be able to address our problems before resentment is formed without hesitation, because we don't need that extra, unneeded baggage to weigh us down.
I have to admit your writing here was harder to grasp than your other pieces, in a way that you can only wrap your head around if it's personal to you. You're perfectly right in saying that nothing is ever definitive and that everything is supposed to build character and 'shape you'. There really is no comforting resolution to resentment. And everything just goes back to space, time and reasons beyond our knowledge. Reasons we have no control over. We feel resentment like all other emotions, but it doesn't vanish as quickly as others. It kind of lingers there even when we feel as though it's gone. I guess the only way of coping is to hold on to the…
Babe your 100% right. Life can be a bitch every now and then. And i know ive been saying this ALOTT but if u need anything ill willingly risk it all to make sure ur okay xx
Arunita I have read what you have written and I understand that life is NEVER EVER fair, which sucks. It really does suck. I don't know entirely if karma relates to this but hopefully it does so something positive will shine out of this. And if you're ever hurting or just need somebody there to talk to you can talk to me. xx