Priortising People

A vital life skill that I was never taught was how to prioritise people. Prioritising people is completely different from prioritising tasks. With tasks, as long as you complete them in order of urgency and importance, you’re set! But with people, it is so much more complicated (as it always seems to be). You give these people your time, you give and make space and you give you. Since you are your own most valuable asset, it is important to regularly evaluate how you prioritise these people to steer clear of, oh let’s say a 3 month depression period caused by chronic burn out in which existence became more suffocating as each agonising moment passed. Trust me, I speak from experience. You must first ask, what does this person cause and contribute in my life? Is it growth and inspiration or nothing positive at all? Contribution can look like mentorship or regular kindness, or a daily uplifting good morning text, or good conversations. If they cannot contribute something, anything, that will add to you, they do not deserve to take up your space. Leave. But, prioritising does not just stop there. Even if they contribute positive things, does outweigh the negative baggage they bring? We all come with negative qualities and it is completely unfair to expect perfection from anyone. I’ve had friends that I love hanging out with, but the unnecessary drama they brought with them drained me. I’ve had friends who intellectually stimulated me but their negative self-talk made me feel gross. But, keep in mind that all of your friends have toxic qualities, as do I and your mum and even you. It is vital to regularly weigh both the positive and negative impact someone has on you and then decide if you are still willing to make space for them. Finally, watch if they prioritise you. It hurts when you realise someone you prioritise and would gladly give all your time and energy does not do the same. I used to think that giving away all your energy to everyone was the right thing to do and I was just being selfless. I was being selfless and I am proud that selflessness is a part of who I am, but I was also attracting energy vampires. You know energy vampires, they suck out all the good stuff from you, advice, your time and love, never give back and continue to suck even when you have nothing left to give, with no care towards you. Well, imagine my shock when I realised that my very own closest friends who were energy vampiring me! But, someone does not have to be an energy vampire to not properly prioritise you. If you’re constantly competing for their attention or you’re always the backup option, then it is most definitely the time to reorganise your priorities. Make sure to be self-aware so you can catch when you are the energy vampire. And if you do, don’t continue being a selfish vampire, and start standing on your own feet and be sure to apologise and make it up to whoever you drained. Priorities are important. People are important. Prioritising people is important. So are you.