I thought I would spend the final evening of 2019 writing a sappy new decades’ post.
Something about entering this decade as a 5-year-old, delicate and careless and leaving as an almost fully-formed human being.
Instead, I had one of the most anxiety-filled nights I’ve had in my life.
There was a 10-hectare fire 4 kilometres away from me coupled with an extremely windy night, which created the perfect conditions for embers looking to spontaneously travel wherever the wind takes them!
This sent everyone in the house in quite the frenzy. We needed to grab our bare necessities, passports, birth certificates etc.
We had enough time and space to take our most treasured belongings.
I stood blankly in my room in complete and utter shock and stared. I couldn’t hear anything anymore and anything and everything turned into a confusing swirl
Would I tear down the beautiful painting my sister carefully created for my 15th birthday?
I couldn’t grab my sacred books, they were much too heavy, and turning my back to them broke my heart.
Should I take the journals that I’ve been writing since I was 8? There were too many of them and scattered throughout the house, so that was a no. All of my stories, thoughts, feelings, one of the most important ways I tracked myself growing up, I would give permission to burn.
My windchimes? My scrunchies? My Himalayan salt lamp?
I know these things mean nothing to you, but each and every item in my room has an important backstory to it, a gorgeous memory attached. I wouldn’t be abandoning just them but abandoning myself.
My priority would obviously be my family (family includes pets, this is an undeniable fact.) and I’m not a materialistic person whatsoever but the thought of losing ones’ home is so utterly painful that all internal organs turned into a washing machine, let alone actually losing a home.
I think it’s okay for now and the fire seems to be under control, although our bags are still packed and my heart has permanently moved down to my belly button it seems. To try to have empathy for people undergoing the chaos and pain of these fires and then to be on the brink of their experience are two insanely different experiences.
You may shrug and assume this is the Traditional Australian Experience, but it is indeed quite political. We live in a world, particularly a country, in which these issues being overlooked is quite the understatement. Our government gives massive cuts to our Fire Department, taking money away from the only people protecting us from the worst bouts of fire in this nations’ history. Our government ignores this climate disaster, turning their heads in the other direction and leaving their giant droopy asses in our face to shit on us and mock our concerns further. Our culture reminds us that it is impolite and unladylike to get political, ever, but it’s quite difficult to say anything meaningful about issues within our society without addressing the literal foundations of said society; politics!
I wish I could put into words my appreciation for our fire services. It literally blows my mind that there are people volunteering to go straight in the belly of the beast, without receiving any compensation (thanks to the Liberal government, Gladys in particular :))). They just risk their lives simply because it’s the right thing to do.
I know this is a poorly written piece lacking any structure or sense but I myself am in quite an odd state. A mixture of shock and fear, I guess.
It’s quite a unique way to end the year. Some may say this was a negative way to end this decade, but I would argue it was a wake-up call. As cliche as this may sound, this night reminded me just how precious life is, all the people, doggos, guinea pigs and things I treasure and just how much I truly have. I hope I remember this lesson this coming decade.
To constantly be reminded of one’s mortality may seem like a hassle,but it truly is a strategic blessing!
Thank you, dear reader, for being here and I wish you a fresh new decade filled with passion, contentment, love, learning, gratitude and fulfilment!
Happy 2020!
Love, Arunita <3
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